29 Nov

What It Really Feels Like to Ghost and be Ghosted

Unfiltered confessions from eight of our readers

Written By Amina Kaabi

At this point, everyone knows what ghosting is, but for a number of reasons too deep to get into right now, no one likes to talk about it. In short, it’s probably because ghosters might be too ashamed to admit they left someone in the dark. As for ghostees, I’m sure their experiences are anything but a joy to discuss.

 

We asked some of our readers, and as it turns out, ghosting is very real, and it’s happening to everyone around you – so we rounded up some of the wildest stories for you to indulge in.

 

Mayssa, 29

“I once got ghosted after I told a man what my occupation was. I went out with him and I told him I was in dental school. I think he thought I was doing dental assisting. Later, he asked me to confirm, I told him I was studying to become a dentist. I never heard from him after that. Men are so fragile.”

 

Kat, 28

“A few months ago, in Tunis I ran into a guy I was seeing a while back. He seemed excited to see me, which was surprising because after we last saw each other he flew to Spain for a week and we didn’t try to hang out when he got back. He pulled me aside at a party and we talked for the rest of the night. He was an academic, but handsome, which my academic friends tell me is rare, and in any case, I think it’s a horrible combination when men know they’re smart and also know they’re attractive.

 

He talked about himself a lot. Over the next few days he asked me if I was free to hang out. I agreed to hang out with him the following day, but when the next day came and I called him to see when we should meet — no response. He didn’t call back and didn’t answer my texts, so I texted him again and that was it, the end of my bored indulgence of his ego.”

 

Baha, 27

“I’m sad to say I ghosted two girls recently. But to be fair, their Tinder pictures didn’t prepare me for their Whatsapp pics.”

 

Jemma, 35

“Being ghosted by someone I had a “moment” with, might just be one of the most disrespectful things one human being has ever done to me. Being rejected is never pretty but being ghosted is plain savage. It makes me feel like what happened didn’t matter and neither do I. It’s like being denied my own existence.”

 

Arwa, 25

“I’ve been ghosted before — turns out he was super busy with work and had a baby on the way.”

 

Arin, 26

“He was the first person I ever dated. We were together for a few years, before we decided to just be friends. But it didn’t end there. For the next eight years, our indecisiveness became a pattern and the nature of our relationship kept changing. Even when our lives started growing in opposite directions, a closeness always remained.

 

One month before I was planning to move to Spain he ghosted me. He wouldn’t answer my calls or texts. Weeks went by without a response, my birthday included, until the day before my flight. I was confused and heartbroken. He sent me off with a “have fun”, I left the country the next day and I haven’t heard from him since. Although I’m not in love with him and never have been, he hurt me in a way that no one ever has before.”

 

Leila, 24

“I’ve ghosted a few people before. Honestly, I’m just really bad at confrontation and it’s like the easiest choice to make. I know I really suck for doing it, and that I probably hurt people, but I really don’t dwell on it too much.”

 

Amal, 28

“I was ghosted by a dude I was seeing after a month. It was after a date and I could tell something was off but didn’t expect him to disappear. One night I messaged him on Instagram – my exact words were “so what happened?” He told me he wasn’t ready for a relationship and wanted to cut it off before it went any further. He apologized and called himself a coward, I agreed.”

 

Photo Courtesy of  @textsfromyourex