Interviews

A Psychologist’s Guide to Surviving Toxic Family Members During Ramadan

BYKhaoula Ghanem

February 25, 2026

If you’ve ever found yourself snapping at someone over hummus placement five minutes before iftar, you’re not broken. You’re fasting, sleep-deprived, caffeinated only by vibes, and suddenly spending unprecedented amounts of time with the same people who installed half your emotional triggers in the first place. “Ramadan amplifies everything—spiritually, emotionally, and relationally. It is a month of reflection, restraint, and heightened consciousness, which means people are often more sensitive to their internal states,” says The Hundred Wellness Centre’s resident psychologist, Devika Mankani.

Then there’s proximity. Ramadan is essentially a month-long group chat you cannot mute. Between iftars, suhoors, taraweeh, and obligatory visits to relatives you haven’t seen since last Eid, families are suddenly together all the time. And with that comes a resurfacing of dynamics you thought you outgrew.

“Increased proximity often reactivates long-standing patterns— especially unresolved roles, rivalries, or generational differences,” Mankani says. Translation: you may be a fully autonomous adult in your daily life, but one dinner at your parents’ house and suddenly you’re back to being The Responsible One, The Problem Child, or The One Who Needs To Be Asked Why They’re Not Married Yet.

Fasting itself also lowers your emotional buffer. From a neurobiological standpoint, depleted glucose and disrupted sleep make impulse control harder. “The prefrontal cortex, which is responsible for impulse control and emotional regulation is more vulnerable when we are tired or physiologically depleted,” the psychologist notes.

But there’s a paradox here. Ramadan can also sharpen emotional discipline if approached intentionally. The same conditions that make you reactive can also make you more self-aware. Whether the month becomes a meltdown marathon or a personal reset depends less on your relatives and more on how you regulate yourself around them.

Below, Dr. Mankani shares her tips for surviving difficult family dynamics without ruining iftar.

How to deal with intrusive personal questions
When conversations veer into your love life, career, finances, or any other topic you didn’t volunteer for, the instinct is often to over-explain in order to seem polite. According to Mankani, that usually backfires. “The most effective approach is calm brevity. Over-explaining invites debate,” she says.

Simple, neutral responses delivered steadily create a boundary without escalating tension. The key isn’t finding the perfect words; it’s communicating that the topic isn’t open for discussion while remaining composed. Tone, she notes, matters more than content.

How to handle racist, sexist, or offensive remarks at the table
When a comment crosses the line, reacting impulsively can escalate the situation quickly, especially in a group setting. “First, regulate yourself before responding. Reactivity escalates,” she explains.

Once calm, expressing discomfort without attacking the person allows you to assert your values while keeping the interaction from spiraling. The goal isn’t necessarily to change minds in that moment, but to avoid silently condoning something that feels wrong.

How to decide whether to confront someone publicly or privately
“In-the-moment responses prevent normalization. Private conversations allow deeper dialogue,” Mankani says. If tensions are already high, a brief boundary in the moment followed by a calmer discussion later can often be more productive than attempting a full debate during dinner.

How to disagree without turning dinner into a battlefield
Expressing dissent doesn’t have to mean escalating conflict. In fact, the delivery often determines the outcome more than the content itself. “Curiosity is more powerful than accusation,” says Mankani. Lowering your voice, using “I” statements, and asking clarifying questions can diffuse defensiveness while still communicating disagreement. It shifts the interaction from confrontation to conversation.

How to protect your mental health around relatives who won’t change
Accepting that some views are unlikely to shift can be liberating and protective. “You are not responsible for reforming others at every gathering,” notes Mankani. Limiting exposure, positioning yourself near supportive people, or planning exit strategies in advance are all valid ways to safeguard your emotional energy without creating unnecessary drama. Leaving the room, changing the subject, or taking a break can feel rude, but it can also be regulation. “Short-term disengagement can be a very healthy regulation strategy.”

How to deal with guilt after setting boundaries
For many people, especially in collectivist cultures, asserting limits with elders triggers immediate guilt even when the boundary is reasonable. But according to the psychologist, “Boundaries are not disrespect. They are clarity.” Discomfort doesn’t mean you’ve done something wrong. Often, it simply reflects the unfamiliarity of a new relational pattern.

How to manage anger and frustration while fasting
Physical strain amplifies emotional intensity, which makes regulation tools especially important during Ramadan. Mankani recommends practices like slow breathing, short walks, lowering expectations, and reconnecting with intention (niyyah) to help keep reactions aligned with the spirit of the month— even when patience feels in short supply.

A Psychologist’s Guide to Surviving Toxic Family Members During Ramadan

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A Psychologist’s Guide to Surviving Toxic Family Members During Ramadan

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