6 Things Your Astrology-Obsessed Friend Has Definitely Said

“I can’t help it, I'm an Aries!”

by

With Mars in retrograde coinciding with the third Mercury in retrograde of the year, the last couple of months have been eventful for astrology lovers

For the non-astrologically fluent, Mercury in retrograde is a phenomenon that impacts communication, travel and technology. Mars, on the other hand, affects motivation levels. In layman’s terms, this means a double threat on any important future decisions we make. 

To top things off, eclipse season is on the horizon, with at least two eclipses expected to occur, which often corresponds to major transformations and abrupt changes in our lives. As a result, your favourite social media astrologists are getting agitated, continuously flooding our feeds with astrology memes and daily horoscopes.

So, if you’ve tirelessly bombarded with practically foreign terms from your astrology expert friend, then you’re not alone. We all have someone in our entourage that can’t help but bring astrology into any random conversation.

Here are a few things that we’ve all heard our astrology-obsessed friend say.

“I like her/him but there’s no way we could date, our signs aren’t compatible!”
Because that’s what we should all base our relationship decisions on…

“As Scorpios, we’re vengeful, hostile and manipulative. Which is great, so no one can mess with me!”
Practically any defect can be turned into a virtue.

“Don’t get upset if I’m always angry at you, I can’t help it, I’m an Aries”
Maybe try anger management instead of justifying?

“Today’s horoscope: someone who admires you will reach out to you.
*gets a call from a relative they haven’t spoken to in years*
Oh my God! Does that mean my aunt’s step-nephew secretly likes me?!”
Because everything somehow has to make sense.

“My phone is so slow these days, it must be getting old.”
“No, it’s because of mercury in retrograde.”
Of course it is.

“I just broke up with my partner. They don’t believe in astrology, we can’t be together anymore!”
*eye roll*

Share this article