After recently being made redundant from my former position as a full-time boyfriend, I suddenly found myself with a little too much time on my hands to spend with the boys. And with the cost of living crisis squeezing us all, we have to find alternative ways to entertain ourselves. So we do the only thing that costs nothing but time—meaning we just talk.
@goldhmotivation ‘Can we talk about like the political and economic state of the world right now?’ #fy #fyp #motivation #jadensmith #success ♬ suono originale – goldhmotivation
By now, we’ve burned through countless hours of conversation, throwing in our two cents on everything from sports and music to girls and even the economic and political state of the world (just like Jaden Smith would’ve wanted us to.) In fact, we’ve spent so long nagging, chatting, and overanalyzing life that we could’ve started our own podcast. But instead of recording these thought-provoking chats,we prefer sitting on the same bench and talking our evenings away, probing different “what if” scenarios instead. The most heated debate? Whether or not cheating in a haram relationship is actually haram.
Call us curious—or just a bunch of guys tackling life’s biggest questions (not)—but whatever label you want to slap on us, the question remains, to us at least, worth asking. And to spare you the embarrassment of asking your local sheikh or risking a lecture from your parents, we thought we’d take a crack at answering this so-called tough question ourselves. As usual, our fantastic group of four split into two, with each duo picking a side.
@oneanswer_ Zina (Sex before Marriage) #lyrics ♬ original sound – oneanswer_
In a nutshell, one side argued that cheating is cheating, no matter the context. Meanwhile, the other insisted that if the relationship wasn’t “halal”— meaning it wasn’t recognized under Islamic law in the first place—then the usual rules around cheating don’t apply. Basically, if it’s already outside the lines, crossing another one shouldn’t really matter. But as simplistic as that might sound, our conversation quickly shifted to personal accountability, where it belongs. Let’s be real, just because someone doesn’t condone your behavior doesn’t give you a free pass to be a (insert preferred slur).
Whether you’re in a pre-marital relationship or not, the way you treat your partner says a lot about your character. At the end of the day, it’s not just about religious rules—it’s about trust and respect, which are core values in Islam anyways. So, trying to separate the two doesn’t really add up. As the conversation evolved from a light hearted “what do you guys think” into a deeper chat about integrity when no one’s watching, we found some consensus: Religion isn’t black and white, and even if you are in the wrong, how you handle that wrong is what really matters.
There are countless examples in Islamic texts where a sinner who tried to do good or performed a single good deed was forgiven. It seems like owning up to your actions, being honest with yourself and others, and trying to do the right thing in bad situations pays off in the long run. Ultimately it’s not about finding loopholes, but about accountability. How you treat people will always matter most, and could even tip the scales in your favor.
Having reached some peace, we decided to get a second opinion. To finally settle the hours-long debate, we, wisely (for once) chose to double-check whether our opinion was worthy of anything by turning to our go-to religious friend in Italy, who, for the sake of privacy, will remain anonymous. Having graduated from the Baath Islamic Institute of Forensic Sciences, we consider him our mufti on speed dial. And to be honest, if anyone could shed light on this, it was him.
“From an Islamic perspective, I’d say that since you’re already engaged in something impermissible, whether you cheat or not doesn’t change the fact that you’re sinning,” he said, leaving us to wonder if our whole debate about accountability even mattered anymore. “That said, I don’t think it becomes a ‘double haram’; that’s just a way of thinking that adds more guilt and moral pressure. If you do something wrong—even twice—acknowledge it, ask for forgiveness, and move on. Otherwise, you’ll just dwell on it and think, ‘Why bother improving?’” he added, reassuring us that the way forward isn’t about perfection from the start, but about growth and responsibility.
@ittibittifizziiexplain this to me pls ??♬ original sound – feeeza
“If you cheat, regardless of religious loopholes, it just makes you an idiot. You just betrayed someone, so even if you could find a loophole and get away with it in that sense, you’re still left with the reality that you hurt someone who likely cared about you,” he added. His perspective definitely hit home, shifting the conversation away from technicalities and towards how to become someone better.
As the sun set and the debate wound down, we realized that we were left with a hypothetical answer but a real takeaway—Whether a relationship is halal or not, like any interaction in life, it requires respect, communication, and trust. And the moment that breaks down, whether God is in the picture or not, the damage is done and that reflects on you. In the end, it all made sense—or didn’t, who knows—but at least it kept us from starting a bro-coded podcast.
