Airports are a weird animal. Between the overpriced meals, pacing dads, and repeatedly checking passports, they are in their own way a chaotic microcosm of society. They just radiate Truman Show energy. We don’t know why we feel that as soon as we enter an airport, time stops and life just becomes an adult Disneyland– on crack.
If airports were a person they’d be the friend that says “OMG I’m just so rAnDoM”. There’s a lot of oddities surrounding the whole experience, so that’s why we compiled some of the many things that make them weird.
I swear at this point, “random search” might as well be our middle names. It’s almost an automatic procedure to go through when flying out. To all airport security out there, trust me when I tell you this: try having a look at the pseudo-innocent white boy’s bag— you might have better luck there, because on our side, trust me we aren’t risking shit anymore. Shout out to all my Ahmeds and Mohammeds born on September 11, life must be tough out there.
Me looking at the agitated Arab getting an airport “random check” next to me. pic.twitter.com/8OXgFrfNvR
— Ball Out (@Balloutium) March 14, 2022
Having a drink at six in the morning is somehow acceptable
We’ve never seen a place with so many people drinking at sunrise. There’s a very fine line between being an alcoholic and kicking your holidays off early. Remember, you should start your day with a glass of water, not with a pint of Amstel.
Paying $15 for a sandwich and a bottle water
Trust me, I get it. We live in a capitalist world where prices are dictated by supply and demand, but come on; don’t take the piss. I’m tired, I have three looming connecting flights, and for sure need to top up on my daily dose of H2O. But why on earth is it ridiculously priced? No, there’s no way I’m splashing that much cash on some water. This should be a crime.
The only place with so many people sleeping on the floor
Seriously though, it can actually get difficult to wander around your terminal sometimes. Whole jidos and tetas, bare feet out, monopolizing every single bench there is to be seen around — for hours! Keep that energy of normalizing sleeping rough when you’re walking downtown. You don’t need to look down on rough sleepers if you’re quite literally doing the same thing; airport or not, I see no difference.
You’re a weirdo for wearing jeans
Jeans are a big no when traveling. It’s the most uncomfortable piece of clothing anyone can wear, and you’re telling me that it’s the only thing you could find to fly eight hours straight in? It’s giving serial killer.
Running on four hours sleep
Another thing that usually exclusively happens in airports is people running on little, if not no, sleep. People rocking up to passport control possibly smuggling God knows what in those huge eye bags.
Trying not to look sus in the duty free buying a three liter bottle of Jack Daniels as a “gift for (insert European name here)”
It’s definitely not for me and Hamada when I get out, I promise.
Catching feelings before flights
Is she actually hot or am I just at the airport?
Parents showing up eight hours before departure
Awake at 3:00 AM, checking passports 1000 times, and pacing up and down the departure lounge with their arms behind their backs, please dad just allow it. We still love them though!
*flight leaves at 2pm*
my arab dad at 4:30 am: pic.twitter.com/LAiZCoaR98
— haifa (@urfavfalahii) September 11, 2020
When your flight becomes a multi-faith prayer room
I’ve seen more prayers happen before take off than at Salat al Jumuah. Regardless of religion, there’s something nice about seeing everyone praying in unison. That is until the flight lands in Bahrain and everyone goes to the nearest casino.