Being involved with the region’s industry is a responsibility, not only to our peers but also to future generations. Unfortunately, patriarchy, sexism, and harassment are still harbored in some of the region’s most revered institutions.
DJs, musicians, event organizers and party goers have all been hustling for years to try and carve a “safe space” they can finally call their own. However, the amount of blood, sweat, and tears poured into building a scene in the region can be destroyed in a matter of hours with some having to suffer from the consequences of horrendous conduct by a handful of people for the rest of their lives.
With victims always in mind, we’re compiling a list of rules for those guys (and girls) who still didn’t get the memo in order to ensure that actions of recent events are not repeated, and never will be. It’s time for boys to not be boys anymore — we’ve got to sit down man to man, and have the chat.
It’s always about consent
We can’t believe we still have to say this in 2022. If you’re unsure whether the person you’re trying to get with is actually into you, how about asking them straight up? It’s better to look like someone that tried their luck in vain rather than be an accused rapist. In short, being certain is always better than being sorry.
If you see it, call it out
We share a responsibility to protect our circles, regardless of gender. If one of your friends is acting in a way that is making others uncomfortable, then it’s probably time for them to go outside and have a cigarette or a sip of water. Likewise, if someone is making others in your circle feel uncomfortable, it’s important to confront them too; tell their friends, and organizers. When you get called out for being a creep, don’t wait until whoever called you out disappears to do it again. There’s nothing wrong with calling out a harasser. Who knows? You might just save someone from being assaulted, or worse.
No means no, and no answer also means no
Anything other than “yes” is a “no.” This is lesson number one on how to live and interact in a society. If you were able to understand this concept when you were eight, what’s stopping you from getting it right now? The person you’re trying to get with doesn’t owe you anything, move on.
Nothing to negotiate for here– you’re not at the souq
It happens– you thought you were in, you got shut down, and ended up ordering an Uber home and swiping right on Tinder like the rest of us. It’s literally the ultimate level of 3ady. There’s nothing to bargain for though, this isn’t Shark Tank. Get a grip of yourself and head back with whatever’s left of your dignity. Coercing someone into doing something isn’t the W you think it is.
If they look too inebriated, leave them alone
I don’t even think we have to be more explicit on this matter than that. And if we do, just block us – we don’t want anything to do with you.
Staring really isn’t it
Don’t be the person who stares at people from across the dancefloor. Shoot your shot and if it doesn’t work, just take the L. According to JustTrustMeBro.com, 99% of people who catch stares say they get the ick from it immediately.
Keep your hands to yourself
You don’t know the person you’re standing next to in that late night pic or walking past you in the club and no, you’re not being suave or smooth. Keep your hands to yourself, or in your pockets if you really have to. No one likes being touched by strangers, and if that’s how you’re trying to get your way in: FIND ANOTHER ONE.
Know your limits
You know what we’re talking about here. If you’re going to have a messy one, have a friend look out for you. There’s nothing less classy than getting overly-buzzed then trying to have a conversation with someone who can’t even understand what you’re saying. And it’s creepy as hell.
A person being nice doesn’t mean that they’re into you
I know it might sound crazy, but a person being nice to you doesn’t mean they want to get into bed with you. I get it, you might not be used to it, your toxic masculinity has got you used to understanding “you prick” as a form of flirting, so when someone is actually just nice you think that they’re all over you. Breaking news: they’re probably not. They’re just being normal and if you don’t get that, you need to check yourself out.
Leave the savior complex at the door
Realistically guys, women don’t need you anymore. It’s 2022, there’s a lot more to offer than the patriarchal archetype of “the knight in shining armor.” Tending to the every need of the person you’re trying to hit on doesn’t come off as “caring” or “cute” any more. Chivalry really is dead, and you killed it.
Illustration by Brittany England